A convicting litmus test

One of the most troubling and challenging quotes I have read, an idea that gnawed at me (for my benefit) and from time to time haunts me still(again for my benefit) is a quote from C. S. Lewis's Mere Christianity

This excerpt comes from the chapter titled "The Great Sin" and the discussion of pride:

"the more we have it ourselves, the more we dislike it in others" (p. 121)

"if you want to find out how proud you are the easiest way is to ask yourself, 'How much do I dislike it when other people snub me, or refuse to take any notice of me, or shove their oar in, or patronise me, or show off?" (p. 122)

It is very easy for me, and my pride, to assure myself that I am a humble enough person. But a time when pride can be uncovered, when it cannot help keep itself concealed in our hearts and minds is when it comes into conflict with another's pride. Our pride is no longer hidden, it is rearing its ugly head, but often we are too enthralled with the desires of our pride to take a step back and see our pride for what it is.

The test is to see how much I am bothered by others' pride. If I am bothered by another's selfishness I can safely say it is because of my own. While it is possible to dislike pride out of righteousness, for me to credit that as my reason would simply be yet another expression of my pride. No, I am better off to note how often and how much other's pride bothers me, and use that as a gauge of my own pride. Most of the time I get ruffled by another's selfishness it's not because the situation actually warrants such feelings, but that my pride feels threatened.

I encourage you to take note of when and where you find yourself bothered by pride, and to evaluate your reasoning. You may find it intriguing and humbling to discover how much our pride is alive and well within us.

As with all things the conviction of sin is not meant to be an end, for us to wallow in, but to spur us back to Jesus who has made a way and washes us clean. If you discover, as I have with myself, that your pride is far healthier than you imagined, do not despair, do not seek (out of human pride) to fix yourself, but instead turn to Jesus who is transforming and sanctifying his bride. Amen

Conquering Strategy

A common yet effective strategy for governing a conquered people is to change their names. It has always been the victor who writes history; re-write the history of a conquered people, their names, and they lose their identity. It is interesting how much our names tell us about our identity. Giving a new name is giving a new identity. This has been practiced throughout history by numerous conquerors. A defeated nation becomes a new province under a name of your choosing to aid in demoralizing and controlling the defeated people.

This practice is illustrated during the exile in Babylon with Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah. Nebuchadnezzar renamed them Belteshazzar, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego respectively Daniel 1:7. (it is interesting to note that of the four only Daniel continues to be called by his Hebrew name).

We have all given into this practice of renaming as well. We were created perfect and have fallen into sin and brokenness. We have forgotten who we are. We allowed the world, satan, the past, and our friends to define who we are. We are a conquered people.

But a savior has come to free us, indeed salvation is come. Jesus, who created us (John 1:3), who knows our true names, identities, and purposes has come to liberate us and call us back to the identities that we have forgotten. Victorious Jesus has conquered the world to restore and rename all of Creation. As the victor Jesus has come to give us back our names.

But his victory on earth is not yet fully realized. And we continue to forget who we are and what God is calling us to (ex. 1 Tim 4:14). We keep falling back into our old identities, who the world, the past, our friends, and the enemy say we are. Truly it is God alone, Creator of all, who knows our true identity. He knows us best. His is the true reality, not blurred by the lies and the conquest of the enemy over Humanity. Turn back to God, to Jesus, and to who you truly are and were created to be. Let us walk this journey together, and remind each other of who we are when we forget.

Good or Bad?

Philosophers much smarter than I have long argued about whether people are inherently
good or bad.

I think the answer is ‘yes’. Human beings as God first made us were good. We reflected only characteristics of God (His communicable attributes). We were made perfect, God’s original dream was or us to be good and holy.

Then the Fall. The dream was tarnished by sin. We became a fallen broken people. Only one person has lived who was perfect and that was Jesus. The rest of us are sinful, but the good things of God have not been fully squeezed out of us, and the memory of being good and holy is not, however unconsciously, wholly forgotten by our souls.

So while I once only reflected God’s creation, now I have diminished in that respect and taken on sinful dimensions as well. Pride has taken root within me. I am neither as full as God created me nor as pure. I am broken.

Yet by God’s grace I am sanctified. There is great mystery in this, because I am and I am being transformed.

It is true that evil still lurks within me, pride still dwells inside me. I am fallen and I am sanctified. It is like living in two different dimensions. Jesus when he first met Simon Peter (John 1:40-42), did not see him as a fisherman, but as a pillar of his Church. He did not evaluate him by his sinful self, but by the dreams God had created Peter for, the same dreams that Jesus had come to redeem by his death. Jesus saw Simon according to his true identity, as God had originally made him to be, and so renamed him "Peter."

That is the paradigm I try to operate within. Not the perspective of seeing what is plainly before me living in the reality of who I am, but choosing to live by the identity which Christ is calling me to. I am choosing Peter over Simon, to see myself not as I have been but as I am being transformed. Also I am striving to see others not as they are, but by the identity and the potential that God has created them for and made possible through redemption.

So people are born fallen, broken, apt to evil, but by Jesus’ work of redemption we are able and becoming and to operate in the goodness that God first created us for.

A realization

Something I should have realized a long time ago:

Living for God and seeing his kingdom advanced on earth is not equal to ministry

immortality lost

We've all heard the stereotype that high school and college students think they are invincible and immortal. At what point does reality set in?

After contemplating my own mortality and my growing awareness of it, I have concluded that this change in mentality is not really age related. As you get older you do not suddenly realize that you are capable of being hurt. The root of our awareness of mortality is health insurance.

I could do anything, not worry about it, do whatever, until I started having to actively pay for something that tells me I will get sick and die. It is not wisdom with age that taught me, but the debt I owe to this company which profits from my frailty that has brought the revelation of my own mortality.

The Memory of Eden

We were created to be with God, to worship God; to love and be loved by God. We were perfectly connected to Him through whom we had life, love, peace, joy, fulfillment, contentment, all things. We were naked before God; we knew and were fully known.

Then came our fall from grace and this pure and perfect relationship with our Creator was destroyed. How could we who are sinful approach He who is Holy?

But the memory of Eden still echoes in my heart.

I long for you God. I yearn from the depths of my soul to be with God, to be in his presence, to hear his voice. The Lord speaks my name and like Lazarus I come out of the grave that has held me. Try as I may to numb or ignore my desires, we were made to be with God. The memory cannot be erased from my soul.

By grace I am reconciled to God. I am sanctified and am being sanctified.

Each day I seek to live as an exile returning to Eden . . .
to remember that I'm going home.

Cutting Corners

Our society has some weird perceptions about time. I fall into them all the time. We will do all kinds of crazy things to cut corners in really insignificant or absurd ways. We will drive aggressively, cut-people off, to save a couple of seconds in transit time, and then waste a couple minutes on facebook.

A Different View of The Bible

The following is an image of the entire Bible.




This image was created by Glen Davis using the website wordle.net. The size of a word depends on its frequency. The more often a particular word appears, in this case the Bible, the larger it is.

It offers us a different way of looking at and perceiving the Bible as a whole

I find it really cool and not too surprising that the largest words are: Lord, God, said, Israel, people. Because what is the Bible really about?

A Plane Ticket Out

Yesterday at noon, as we were fliering for O-week on campus, there was a walkout/protest/poetry slam about the tuition increases at the UC's. Apparently there were similar demonstrations at the other 9 UC campuses yesterday as well.

What bothered me was not the poetry slam, but what seems to be the motivation behind the protest. I'm just not sure how effective a walkout really is. Maybe writing letters, I'm not sure, but something would be more effective. But I don't think that was people's real motivation. It seemed more to stem from the fact that everyone wants to be a rebel, to stand out, and 'stick it to the man'. Everyone jumps on the protest bandwagon because our hippie parents have told us that's what college students do. On Tuesday students protested on campus in their underwear because they "sold them to pay tuition". Again I am afraid about how budget-cuts will effect the lives of so many students, but taking your clothes off really isn't going to effect anything. I really everyone wants to do something radical, to 'fight the man who's keeping us down'. But it just seems so self-gratuitous.

Meanwhile at Woodland Community College 22 of 34 faculty staff face layoffs. Tuition increases at 4 year universities is scary, but the effects of budget-cuts to the Community College system scares me more. Many students go to JC's to save money, but if they are unable or cannot afford to what then? Why are we protesting at UC's when the impact at JC's is much more significant. Everything seems backwards.

It's times like this I almost want to give up on America. Pack the bags, throw my junk in a box, and move to some other country. But other countries have their issues too; it's ameri-centric of me to think that just the US has problems.

It's times like this that I am reminded that we are not of this world; that we are "to be in the world, but not of the world," "Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God" (james 4:4b) As much as I may want to check-out, to abandon ship, leave this world to it's destruction, that's not why I'm here. God's ministry is redemption, reconciliation; to breathe life into this dark, hurting, and broken world. After the fall of man God came back for us. Emmanuel dwelt and dwells among us. Now God has "reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God." (2 corinthians 5:16-21)

It's not about how I feel. God is calling each of us to the ministry of reconciliation. In times of trouble like this I am reminded that the Lord is my hope. Our hope is in Jesus not because that is how I choose to comfort myself, but because truly Jesus alone can save us, can offer us any solution or freedom from our problems, brokenness, and pride.

And so I will keep from giving up hope, and keep bailing water.

Reflections from Starbucks: the right to customize my drink

Some of you may know that I like to pray at coffee shops whether Starbucks or some local cafe.

It always bothers me when someone gets upset because their iced macchiato latte mocha with 7 ice cubes, half a pump of hazelnut and 5/8 Splenda isn't perfect. But this problem goes beyond just coffee drinks.

C. S. Lewis sheds some light on this issue with a line from him book The Screwtape Letters. In this story the character of Screwtape, a veteran demon, is writing to his young nephew Wormwood instruction and insight into how to temp a man down the path to hell.

Screwtape states that "whatever men expect, they soon come to think they have a right to"

At Starbucks because they offer to customize drinks to the umpteenth degree how quickly we feel entitled to this. The reality is that customizing my drink is something Starbucks offers as a draw to get customers. It is not unreasonable to take them up on this offer. Customization adds work for the barista, but wages make up for that. But it doesn’t justify getting angry at the barista for making a mistake.

Screwtape’s words prove to be sadly true in other areas of life too. I continue to realize aspects of my life where I am at fault for this. For example, God's faithfulness. God is faithful, yet how many times are we guilty of feeling entitled for God to be faithful? Who am I to think that God would owe me anything? Similarly I do not deserve grace or mercy. Though I do not have to doubt in them, I constantly have to guard myself against any sense of entitlement. If it was deserved mercy would cease to be mercy.

Even in simpler situations this idea proves true. Practically anything I could get upset over is probably something I somehow feel I deserve. But I don't deserve to eat three meals today or to have a retirement. If my life were demanded from me tonight I could not protest it. Slowly I feel I am realizing this truth in my life, but as always I have a long way to go.

All my knowledge

The more I live the more I realize:

how little I know
how little I am

I realize that all I do know is that God is faithful, loving, and relentless.
And I realize that is really all I need to know.

Manna From Heaven

I live with six college guys from DCF. Though I myself am not in college, a side effect I have noticed from working in college ministry is that my lifestyle (at least until I get married this coming July) is still very much like it was in college.

One of the greatest things college taught me was how to appreciate the taste of free food; how good free tastes especially when it is also pre-made.

Today my wonderful roommate Jesse (Big J Grim) brought home free pastries from the sweet coffee hut he works at on campus. Bagels, scones, croissants, it was like Christmas morning in a bag. Just one of the many random joys of living with a bunch of guys.