Why Theology Makes Me Uncomfortable

Of all subject matters, fields of learning, and disciplines nothing has the ability to make me so uncomfortable as the subject of Theology, the study of God.  Who is God and what is He like?

There is no entity with whom I am more dissimilar, yet everything about me is entirely dependent upon Him and His utter independence from anything but Himself.

God is infinite, I am finite.
God is omnipresent, I am not
God is Creator, I am creature.
God is holy.  I am not.

His character and nature grates on my fallen broken nature.  And I am better for it.

Apart from God revealing Himself I would be unable to know who He is, and yet He has made himself known even by His own Creation (Rom 1:19-20).  So I find myself upon the great journey of seeking and learning and discovering who God is, of intimacy with the Almighty Holy One.

One of the great things about God being infinite is that there is infinite to learn about Him.  We will therefore be able to learn and discover more about God for all of eternity, rather than after 736 trillion years coming to a full understanding of God and then spending the rest of eternity going over re-runs.

But a question arises

When your concept of God comes in conflict with God who wins?
Our theology and experiences vs. God and who He really is.
Theology will make us uncomfortable.

As fallen, finite, and imperfect creatures our understanding of God is inherently flawed this side of death.  I think I know what the nature of love is or the characteristics of sin, but the paradox of knowledge is that "the more you know the more you realize how little you know."  Believing that I truly and wholly understand an aspect of something violates one of the few things I can actually know, that I cannot fully comprehend anything.

At times I think the sum of all my knowledge, all my experience, all my learning truly boils down to this:

God is loving
God is faithful
and I am much smaller than I think

Theology makes me uncomfortable.  But I have learned that one of my greatest enemies is comfort.  It is so easy to settle for what I currently know rather than searching for a better and greater understanding.  To know just enough to deceive myself into thinking that I know God, and thus think that I do not need to keep truly seeking him.

If I am honest and faithful then studying Theology and who God is will make me uncomfortable.
But God is worth knowing, no matter what that takes.

"Life Isn't Fair"

We've all heard the saying.

And it doesn't really help anything or comfort anyone.

There are so many unfair things in our world around us.  Like the guy I cut-off today or the child born with HIV. There are two kinds of unfairness/injustice/sin: that which originates from human action/inaction, and that which originates from the brokenness of this world (which distantly originated by human action in a garden somewhere).

God's desire is to see both forms of unfairness/injustice/sin redeemed/overcome/dealt with.

I think we often forget, at least I do, how just God is; that justice is very much a part of His nature.  Justice and injustice cannot cohabitate.  Deep down we all yearn to see justice in our lives because we have all be wronged.  Daily.  In a million ways.

And while we all desire to be loved, as God alone can, we also desire to be justified.  I need to know that I am both loved and justified.  Without love justice is brutal, and without justice love is meaningless.  I find it so awesome and beautiful that we see love and justice married at the Cross.  I am loved (Jn 3:16) and justified (Rom 5:9).  For all the hurtful and harmful things that I have done to others and myself, it is comforting to know that those hurts don't just have to be tolerated.  They can be redeemed; the price for justice has been paid.  One day there will be vengeance in its fullness.  Judgement is coming, and while that idea usually makes us nervous we should be glad that all the wrongs we have received in life will be repaid.

Justice.

Through God's continued redemptive work in creation we are seeing the unfairness in life challenged, overcome, and removed.  Slowly we are a part of bringing justice to the world.  Purposefully being kind to others waiting in line at the grocery store, driving courteously, sitting with the brokenhearted, or working to cure disease and disability.

Often a violation we receive stems from a violation someone else received and has passed on to us.  I can either in turn allow my hurt to affect how I act toward other and thus multiply the harm, or I can instead absorb the injustice (by giving it to Jesus) and not pass it on.  We affect the atmosphere around us, we either make waves or we calm them.

This broken world is inclined toward injustice just as it is also tends toward chaos/entropy.  Life on this rock isn't fair.  But God is fair, and He is bringing redemption and fairness to life.  The question is will we be a part of His solution?

A quote worth quoting

A great quote from my friend Marc commenting on an excellent post by my friend John concerning gay pride.

" It takes only a few seconds to spout an opinion, but a lifetime to pour out love. "

May we walk in that in every area of our lives.