The Myth of Utopia and Why I Don't Live There (yet)

This world is a broken place, there is not much use in denying it.  I am broken.  And I am honestly more broken than I realize (or want to admit).

But what do we do in the face of such brokenness?  How do we respond?  What options do we have?

One option is the idea of utopia.  The world is broken?  We can fix that.  Look at all that humanity has overcome.  Society, technology, medicine.  We killed Smallpox!  We have built cities, written constitutions, formed elaborate systems of civilization.  Life expectancy, quality of life, so many mountains we have scaled.    This world is ours to steward, and we will subdue it (Gen 1:28-29), this is our Manifest Destiny.  What holds us back from achieving this dream?

Us

me

Because despite all our accomplishments, we cannot save us from ourselves.  The factor in any hypothetical situation which leads to the inevitable downfall of a utopia is always the human element.  The laws of Physics, Bio-chemistry, etc. can be mastered and manipulated, but in any scenario humanity always finds a way to be its undoing.  Left to my own devices I am as selfish as ever.

Yet we still try to be our own salvation.  Legalism thrives on the belief I can fix myself.  Religion encourages it.  The idols of human logic and Secular Humanism worship it too.  At times I find this idea alluring.  But utopia is a myth.  And I would not fit in.

But what shall we do in the face of such brokenness?  If we cannot fix ourselves what hope is there?  Many understandably give up.  What else can we do?  Sure we can try, but either we deceive ourselves or we will eventually grow too weary from trying.

And here we find the critical junction.  What do you do then? Everything hangs upon what we do next.  We can collapse into depression and eventual destruction.  Or we can call out to Him who can save us from us.

I have found that many of my most broken moments are my most peaceful moments.   Brokenness leads to dependency, which leads to intimacy, and intimacy brings "a peace which surpasses all understanding" (Phil 4:7).  My hope for salvation and utopia is not in myself.  It is God alone who is redeeming and reconciling the world back to Himself.  And in His infinite goodness He lets us join the fun.  So we cannot save ourselves, but we can partner with Him who can (2 Cor 5:18-20).

a lesson in herbs: Leaves and Fruit (inspired by Tad)

Over a year ago I started an herb garden in our apartment.  I chose herbs because they are edible.  This is my chili pepper plant.  As you may notice it has a lot of leaves and only one little white flower.  I will probably not harvest a lot off this pepper plant.

I recently had the privilege to eat lunch with my friend Tad.  In the course of hanging out we discussed the fact as Americans we focus a lot upon goals and achievements.  We often determine an endeavor successful based upon the yield.  This crosses over into ministry as well.  How many people came to our event, do we have more small groups than last year, are we building moment etc.  And this is okay, fruit is a good thing.  Jesus Himself talks about "the harvest".

As Tad pointed out the problem comes when we only look at the fruit.  Yes, success is exciting, new people is encouraging, but we forget a plant only bears fruit in a season.  The rest of the year the plant is absorbing light, water (both, as Tad mentioned, have huge metaphorical values) etc.  We look at the fruit only, and forget the rest of the plant which sustains the fruit.  This is why Jesus tells us to abide (John 15:5).  But even here the danger is we will see abiding as a formula for success.

Our desire to bear fruit should stem from seeking to obediently follow God.  And our desire for obedience should stem from a submission and surrender to God.  His love and His worthiness should be what inspires our obedience.  When I was in sin over my head my God died for me and justified me by His blood (Romans 5:8-11).  He rose to new life, victorious over sin and death, and has called me to follow Him.  Because God loves me, I desire to obey Him.  But our culture of success and achievement believes instead because I obey God, God should love me.  An obsession with fruit is dangerous because it can warp our understanding of grace by faith.

Instead of earning our merit, earning our fruit, we need to abide in Him.  He is our source and our success.  Once we are rooted in Christ next we need to take steps of preparation.  We need to put out leaves of prayer, organization, community, etc.  Planning and preparation are needed for long term growth.  An ardent but impatient attitude will yield unripe fruit.  Just as the plant requires leaves and roots before producing anything, we have to build ourselves and our ministries with the proper infrastructure to do so too.  We have to understand it will not be the successes, but persistence, which carries us through the long seasons between harvests.  Seasons of reaping, seasons of planting, tending, etc. are all a part of the rhythms of our temporal existence.  We cannot skip steps and simply go from harvest to harvest; to do so we will only be sowing burn-out.  Sabbaths, rhythms, and structures are necessary for longevity.  

Let us not despise the season of preparation between harvests and let us not neglect our leaves.  Let us abide in Christ, that we may bear good fruit.

Idols and Free Radicals

I hate to break it to you, but oxygen is a poison.  Yes, the O2 gas you are breathing and I am breathing is extremely toxic.  This is where we get free radicals which need to be combated with antioxidants.  Yes, oxygen left to its own devices is a killer.  Every cell in your body is constantly fighting against the threat of oxygen (called oxidative stress).  So why do we breathe it and die without it?  Our bodies have learned to harness the same chemical properties which make it so reactive to drive our cellular metabolism.  But this comes at a great cost.  Common free radicals like O2- (superoxide) can bind to proteins and DNA, causing cell death or triggering cancer.  

Exciting right?  This simple element you cannot live without may one day kill you.  Why bring this up?  Because free radicals are a good illustration of our idolatrous hearts.

We were created good and whole, meant to worship God alone, but the ionizing radiation of the Fall has left us broken and reactive.  We are now predisposed to idol making and everyone is worshiping something.  Like the free radicals which destroy whatever they bind to, we continue reaching for the next unsatisfying idol trying to fill this broken bond.  Under the pressure of idolization we corrupt whatever our idol is.  Many of our worst idols were previously good things before we warped them with our fallenness.  Ministry for example can become a terrible terrible idol if I allow my heart to twist it into such.  Similarly relationships, accomplishments, or acceptance can become horrible idols.  Now I must wrestle with my old-self to keep Jesus on the throne and not my idols.  I need my ionization discharged.

Our only hope is in Jesus, who is able to heal us and satisfy the unpaired electrons in our souls.  Only a covalent bond with Him can put my radical nature to rest and make me whole and holy again.

Re-Entry Into Life Post-Missions Trip

And we're back....

This last week I had the opportunity to go on our ministry's missions trip to Baja California.  We arrived home just two nights ago.

And now to begin the re-entry process.

I am always depressed after a missions trip.  For a week (however long) it is like we step out of time into some alternate world.  We have awesome encounters and crazy Jesus-y experiences.  And then we step back into reality as though nothing happened and nothing changed.  And I hate that.  I hate coming home to a world which is exactly the same as I left it. After all these experiences I just had I am not the same.  I am changed.  But my surroundings are not.  And it can be so easy to default back into old patterns.  But by doing so I begin to act like everything is the same.  The passage of time also threatens my experiences, to wipe away and dilute out everything I have seen.   I hate the idea I will lose sight of all these powerful experiences.

There is also the fact these children and these people, who just days ago I was helping and serving, are still there and still in need.  Meanwhile I find myself back at home in my comfortable life-style.  There was this sense on the trip that I was actually doing something, living for God, accomplishing something.  Now I am home and what am I doing?  What purpose am I achieving now?  I have to recalculate and re-calibrate my daily purpose.

All of this can be exacerbated by people (understandably) wanting to know how the trip was.  How do you capture in a sentence everything about the trip?  "It was challenging" or "it was life changing" just cannot express everything I want it to.  It can feel like I devalue the memories by trying to reduce them into a couple words.  But it can also be overwhelming for you and your friend when you go into the 55 minute answer to the question "how was Mexico?"  I find myself wanting to be around those who also went, who are also processing, because we do not have to explain anything.  Even if we are not talking about our experiences we understand without words what each other are going through.

I do not want to forget Mexico.  I do not want to forget the people I met in Mexico.  I do not want to forget all God taught me in Mexico.  It was only a week and the experiences were not too different from other missions trips I have been on, but still the truth is I am different and things are not the same.  The challenge ahead is figuring out how to walk in this truth.

Shakespeare, Jesus, and fandom

I remember in middle school being grudgingly forced to read a few classic works by William Shakespeare.  Romeo and Juliet, A Midsummer Night's Dream, and at least one other which I have forced from my memory.  Having grown up around people reading old school King James version of the Bible, understanding the Shakespearean language was not too difficult for me.  But throughout middle school and high school I rather despised Shakespeare. Honestly for me it was not Shakespeare himself who bothered me, it was the fans.

You can spot a Shakespeare fan a mile away.  Just say his name, any character's name, or sometimes even words like "doth" and "yonder" and their eyes light up, glaze over, and they begin foaming at the mouth.  By the time I reached high school I was sick of English teachers swooning over his words.

But somewhere in college I decided to give Shakespeare another chance.  I accepted maybe there was a reason for all the hype even if the fans drive me crazy.  I realized my issue was not with Shakespeare.  Once I got over this I discovered I do in fact appreciate Shakespeare.  

I feel Jesus can get the same kind of backlash from His fans as Shakespeare.  Too many people dismiss Jesus because of His fans; hypocritical, not relatable, and broken.  It is sad to think people can miss the God of the universe because of some crazy fans.  What is the solution?  Do we need to set standards before someone is allowed to be a part of the Church?  In an age where marketability and branding are so important do we need to protect our image from anyone who might infringe upon our trademark or defame Jesus and the Church?

Some people get upset when the Church is full of broken people, but this is exactly what the Church was created to be, a body of broken people seeking after the one who can save them.  While it would be nice if the Jesus fans could behave in a more marketable fashion, most of the burden of missing the Truth lies with the person who judges based on the fans.  Who are we to dictate what the fans and followers must be like before we will make the commitment?  It is true dealing with other broken people as a broken person can be aggravating, but Truth is not determined by fandom or popular vote.  Jesus is worth it whether His fans act like it or not.